Grief and Loss During the Pandemic

We are living through a pandemic – a time of improbable worldwide contagion that has brought with it death, illness, and a tremendous sense of loss. Certainly, the grieving process under ‘normal’ circumstances is shock enough to the system, but what about now? How do we cope with the sense of loss resulting from a myriad of end-points, including: death, hospitalization of ourselves or loved ones, and even the cessation of society as we know it on, hopefully, only a temporary basis?

So, at this time, it’s important to make sure that some standards of grieving are maintained and adhered to; it is important to reconcile our feelings of loss, reflect on the loss (from whatever source), and connect with others.

Coping with this trauma, in all its forms, is no different than how one might mourn loss under other traumatic circumstances.

Engage in solution-focused responses that actually keep you both grounded, and aware that you are dealing with the issue at hand. While it might not be possible to engage in actual funeral services, you can 'see' your loved one by other means: write an obituary; connect with others who wish to remember the loss by utilizing one of the numerous video chat apps; share your grief.

Look for the positive. Becoming overwhelmed with grief can raise all kinds of negative feelings. Make an attempt to focus on the positive; it is a good time to tune in to your religious or spiritual nature for relief, and solace.

Acknowledge you have experienced loss. Whether your experience includes the loss or illness of a loved one, or merely your personal sense of loss during this time, it is important to not escape reality. You should allow yourself sufficient time to absorb the emotions that accompany loss and the complication of the situation.

Cope, cope, cope. Use all of the tools available to you: measured breathing, meditation, reaching out to an empathic friend or family member, or engage in a telehealth session with your therapist. Denying reality, or withdrawing, or resorting to substance use to numb yourself, can be much more detrimental in the long term than the pain you presently experience.

We are, all of us, experiencing an extraordinarily unique time; a time of loss, not to mention feelings of stress, and becoming overwhelmed with it all. We feel grief from all of this, and so it is important to continue to address these feelings, even as we survive the pandemic. Reach out as you can. You will be surprised at how strong you are.